First Year....

21st August 2010...

It's finally our first year anniversary! Sob...

yet, we weren't able to celebrate it together on this special day...

However, to me, my every day has become valentine's day and "dailiversary" since the day he steps into my world... I am serious, he has never failed his part as a good boyf... 

Time flies...those days and months in the past year were not easy for us, as mostly we are separated in different states... We may be fated to meet each other after 9 years of separation (we were actually classmates of primary time)... Yet, from the first day since we have been bonded to this committed relationship, we are fated to be apart... 

Heaven mismatching us in this relationship, playing prank on us, making us suffer, but she has never put us on the verge of tears... we cherish each other most whenever we get the chance to meet, we treasure the moments we have...even when we quarrel, we are also able to handle it well in no time...so, i do think heaven is fair to us, she makes our relationship grow stronger and more stable every seconds...

i hardly see him in a few months... and i know this is quite tormenting to him, as i have the same feeling too... he always feels insecure whenever i am not with him...he worries about me much, he is scared that i couldnt take good care of myself well... He is even scared of i might abandon him one day... For me, that's a no-no...It's impossible for me to do that right now and following years or decades...I used to be a strong girl with tough heart... but now, he melts my heart, i am no longer that strong that i always relying on him then... :)

i know it's ridiculous to make promises as it's difficult to foresee how things will work out in the future... coz people say, promises are easy to make but difficult to achieve... I am not fooling myself with those unrealistic fairy tales though... he is the charming prince riding on his white horse, saving me from the sorrow, with no tears flowing and heart aching... (though sometimes i cry becoz of him haha :p)

I know myself. We seriously have faith in ourselves...

We are One....and the distance between us is -1.

I HEART HIM. Bearby ♥

为何要争吵?

争吵, 有时可以让人闹得很不愉快

我们没有吵架

你也没有对我呼喝

你苦口婆心耐心的告诉我

你的感受

而我很固执

我们只是把事情看得太重

只是太在意 太在乎

可能 我情绪上无法控制 不喜欢多解释

所以我选择静静听 不说话

可是却不入耳

不是没有分量

只是我太幼稚  太不理智

在你想把事情解决时, 我却选择逃避

逃避被束缚的感觉。

你的关心担心与担忧

我必须要好好地去理解

毕竟我们在两个在一起的时间并不多

应该要珍惜彼此

而不是一意的作自己想做的事，是我太自私。

至少现在我明白了。

我是一只笨蛋的鸟

没有笼子，我就会迷失了方向。

爱要怎么说

要如何是好？

我要的是足够的关心

少许的担心

而不是过分的担忧

是不是阴影作祟?

难道我永远都是那个阴影下的罪人吗？

同样的事，我不想在解释两遍。

爱得自由

不好吗？

我明白你的想法

可是我要你接受     我   的想法

你不能感觉到我的变化吗？

我一直以来都很乖了

可是可不可以不要像担心小孩一样来担心我？

有一天我会因为爱而疯了

当初就是因为不想在被爱情这种东西束缚

所以选择一个人

现在却又被爱情这回事弄得心痛

我少了些   自由的安全感

很爱 很爱

可是

如果担心自己的担忧会发生，

我说 我就不会在你身边了

为何我还需要受那种分隔两地的苦？

我是懂得飞回自己笼子的小鸟

Welcome back~

Yeah finally meet my papa ler!

he was working outstation for about one month

i can see my mum was missing him badly

every night sending short message to my dad secretly

they somehow use "secret code" which i dont understand

Just went to senai airport with mama and babies to pick up my pa

he looks extremely happy hehe

my elder bro also followed him to Sabah

My dad said

Sabah is quite a nice place to stay

Businessmen rule coz it's very cheap to hire workers

Workers are everywhere there, many are aboriginals.

i cant imagine how those workers can survive with that extremely low pays

it's about rm280 to 400!??

:(

Food is quite expensive but taste not great.

My bro described their fishball as the fried fish stick where we can get from the Malay stall selling fried banana.

But seafood there is much cheaper than west m'sia.

Therefore dad and bro almost had seafood meal every other days.

From what my dad told me,

i find the place has no difference from Cambodia.

Those who are rich are really wealthy 

while those who striving for life,

still lead a life of poverty.

No matter how hard they try, they are still working under others.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah

before my dad continued his work at Sabah

he took a leave and went to Shanghai Expo with my youngest bro last week.

Quite inspiring they said.

i wonder when i can get the chance too?

Hrm, i must start saving money!

I wanna go travelling too :) 

using my own money 

Money money money, please come to me~

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life After Exam

Studies had been pretty hectic during the last few weeks

and what surprised me was i actually can live without facebook!

without msn

without any distractions that tempted me.

Thank to my Mr 3 for being so 'considerate'

every time complained me for ignoring him but actually

he himself busy with works,and left me aside X)

he is the real pig, the pig who sleeps more than 8hrs

yet still complaining that he is sleep-deprived

saying that wanted me to mug up at this critical period

while he working hard to earn more money for my sake = ='

Anyway

thats the only way which can make me concentrate full-bloodedly on my studies

i know i am weird.

ha~

lol i talked heaps of craps

yeah the main point was,

my exams were over and finally i am free!

Enjoying my holidays very muchie~

wahahaha..

Mr 3 came to pick me up right after my last exam done

too bad that i couldnt go sunway lagoon coz it's late 4pm

I had my first good meal with Mr 3

Ajisen ramen, salmon sashimi, ebikko.

the ramen was so-so,

ebikko was okay for me,

and the must-try was.......drum**

salmon sashimi!!!Yeah!

the taste was indescribably heavenly yummy!

we stayed at lagoon resort hotel.

the room was luxurious and fully furnished,

rm500 per night, thats hell expensive isnt it? = =' 

at night, we played cho dai di with 3's jie jie and bro-in-law

oh i wanna say thats fantastic wahaha....

though i never won a game

hrm... i watched football matches!

stupid 3 woke me up at 2am,

then we watched the match between England and.....

sorry i forgot what team was that

well I've  never thought the matches can be so exciting! XD

We also went to Genting

lol we gambled, and we lost.

There i got a lesson...

once u win, u must stop playing.

or you gonna be bankrupted after rounds of gambling.

Monday was our 10th month! :)

it seems like we've been together for 10 years though

i seriously enjoy every moment when we are by each side

i wonder what keeps us staying sweet and lovely.

He's the portion in my life. I know.

I love him :) 

                                                                             *Mixiu loviu Bearby Love

Stresssss......

I gotta admit i am getting more and more demanding.

'cause I feel i am lonely here...

I need some strength and power to motivate me on studying.

I miss my mum's cooking and chit-chatting with her and sms-ing with my pa.

Exams are coming in less than one month time.

Lonesomeness stresses me out :'(

Last week, my boy came to look for me.

This week, i hanged out with my high school buddies.

It's truly an indescribable joy!

Only with them, i can feel and know who i am.

I am just too reluctant to go back my hostel.

Every time when i step into my room,

I start to be emotional.

It's so hard to get myself back to studies.

I have got friends here.

but the feeling.......ain't right.

I feel quite nostalgic for the place where i staying now.

I am lost.

Let me go home...

Anyway

I still need to continue to study.

Study hard Choon Ling :)

Jiayou! 

Never surrender! 

Have faith.:D

Simple Life

Nini came to look for me during these 3 days.
I have been really enjoying the days when he was with me...

Planned to go Sunway Lagoon and Kuala Lumpur,
yet we never went to these places due to some constraints...
I still felt very blissful :)
Ip Man 2 and Ice Kacang Puppy Love are really fantastic, moving and impressive.
Ice skating was so fun and sweet.
Hand in hand we circling the ice field
we fell and it's so painful
he kissed all my pain away.
We had scrumptious meals.
The importance was i had those with HIM.
which was what i longed for.
Nini also shopped groceries for me.
I will never need to be starved anymore.
He is so thoughtful and caring.

I just sent him off to the bus station at Pudu Raya...
the feeling of bye-bye really struck us hard
sigh...
he was so worrying that he wanna assure me board the bus safely,
then only he went to take the bus which going to Bukit Jalil...
The first second when he was out of my sight
i started to missing him dy.
i feel i am lost without him...
right after i reached my hostel,
i felt every thing is so strange to me.
the building, the corridor, the room.
feel like to cry.
i know, i am still not getting to the life here.

He is in the bus, sleeping right now.


Though walking is torturing.
i just enjoy walking together with him.
we cherish.

Today is mother's day...
sobsob...
Now i am missing my mother so much too.

nini said he will be coming to sunway again in june with his papa mama.
Right on the day i finish my last exam.
Then we will go playing water.
and going back together with them :)
I am so so happy now.

 Bearby ♥ Treny