朋友

朋友，你是我的朋友吗？

我不懂，对你而言是不是？

至少我把你当成是我的朋友，所以我相信你，对你从不质疑。不管你是谁，我都信任你朋友。可是朋友，你怎么能用你可怕的言语，在我不知情的情况下来伤害我？我总是被蒙在鼓里，然后从第二第三第四者听说，又或者，还有很多事我完全还不知道？你知道那种从别人口中听说的痛？难道交朋友是来被重伤的？我不明白。

一次又一次的，被伤害，心痛得在淌血，可我却没有憎恨过你朋友，甚至我还是一样的崇拜你或觉得你很好，觉得你是把我当朋友的。在一起时你可以把我拥入怀里拉着我开开心心的聊天，关心我，让我觉得很温暖有朋友真好。然而我不在时却又可以用言语来伤我。我想知道，你是以什么心态来说一个把你当朋友的朋友的不是。难道你不觉得你说的话可以让我很伤？

多少次了，不同的话从同个人口中说出 。累积。我痛得哭了好几回，可我从来对你没防备。是我太傻了，还是我太善良，太容易原谅你？每次都告诉自己没事的。

我在乎的是你朋友，而不是那些伤我的话。

我也想知道，陌生人，你认识我吗？那你从别人口中认识我，你觉得，那个我是所谓的我吗？你觉得你在听时，被伤害的我不痛没感觉吗？

我很难过，朋友，你懂吗？ 

我不应该太相信朋友。

家人总是要我别太相信朋友，因为朋友未必真心。在面前和背后可能不同。可我总是不在意。可是现在，我很害怕了。我不想再难过了。我该有戒心。可我觉得自己还没到那个能好好分辨真心和假意朋友的等级。我该学着了。

朋友，请不要因为我的安静和不会说话而把我当无所谓般地继续重伤，又或者任由你们决定我的人格。难道，性格本来就安静有错吗？

不了解我，请不要先说伤我的话。也别以为你够了解我了，所以你可以伤害我。

朋友，请不要把我的真心当成客套和虚伪，因为我不是。是因为我太愚蠢了没有防备而你却太有机心？请教教我那些我爸爸妈妈没教会我的事，因为他们没教我如何要有机心的对一个人。

写到这里，对于这样的朋友，我还是没有一点憎恨的感觉，我还是会原谅你。可我不希望会再知道这样的事。只是身心很难过。我没做错什么，也不会为了你对我的评论或伤害作任何解释。只因你不够了解我。

People who know you well don't need you to explain. people who not knowing you don't care what you have explained.

 

Holiday Mood

 Hrm....recently i was really into this Taiwanese drama series called 'The Fierce Wife'. I finished 23 episodes in 3 days O.o lol i was really crazy about it, especially the male lead Lan Tian Wei, damn charming :3

It talked about how a happy and blissful family could be ruined by the involvement of a third party.

But it's not that superficial as you think it's like other tw drama series. 

It's encouraging with life's hints telling you never be afraid to go for your aims (even if you're simply a housewife *hrm, we girls should not rely too much on guys, must be educated enough, must have own careers, own financial abilities, so that men will never think that we could not survive without them or we are just living on them.) and never get defeated easily by others who trying to hurt you. When failure comes, do not be fearful, as the best way to get rid of failure is to turning it into a motivation. Ace to succeed and prove yourself right.

......also, love is not occupation. Both parties of a relationship should give each other spaces. As too much of love can actually make one feel suffocated. Love is not just about how much you have given in or selfishness, neither about responsibility and respects. Hrm.....so, what is love? The answer is in your heart.

Lol neway it's sem-break atm. For this very short period only i can pamper myself with drama marathon. 

Done with four unit assessments, yet my recess week does not repay me with more relaxing life. Pile of assignments is awaiting me to be completed. Two done, another three to go *cry.. k larr, should just anesthetize myself with works as final exams are coming :) *cry again...

Jiayou Choon Ling :)

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Puppy in the house!

It's called 'Bling bling' and two months old now.

It's a pure breed of golden retriever. papa bought it last month.

Very adorable and alert but very naughty.

Now playing with it becomes my hobby dy :D

Not forgetting Jenny though. 

She looked so down. Being replaced not feeling good? :(

 

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Hrm... Mr. Brightness is busy with studies lately. I am sure he has done well preparation. First two papers today. Hope he can give his best shot and every thing goes fine :3 :)

暖心

 听着听着，让我想起了你，喨~

靠近你就覺得安心
因為你那雙愛笑眼睛
你笑我 貓一樣好奇
聰明又偏透著傻氣

Darling 我想告訴你
其實我比你愛我更愛你
善解人意 浪漫話語
彷彿一切命中注定

你的體貼 溫暖了我的心
就像夏天的風吹過那麼涼爽安靜
我輕輕依偎在你的懷裡
天空掛滿祝福的星星
你的體貼 溫暖了我的心
就像傾盆大雨 捨不得淋濕愛你的心
我要唱給你聽 陶醉在你給的甜蜜

Darling 我想告訴你
其實我比你愛我更愛你
善解人意 浪漫話語
彷彿一切命中注定

你的體貼 溫暖了我的心
就像夏天的風吹過那麼涼爽安靜
我輕輕依偎在你的懷裡
天空掛滿祝福的星星
你的體貼 溫暖了我的心
就像傾盆大雨 捨不得淋濕愛你的心
我要唱給你聽 陶醉在你給的甜蜜
你的體貼 溫暖了我的心
就像夏天的風吹過那麼涼爽安靜
我輕輕依偎在你的懷裡
天空掛滿祝福的星星
你的體貼 溫暖了我的心
就像傾盆大雨 捨不得淋濕愛你的心
我要唱給你聽 陶醉在你給的甜蜜
陶醉在你給的甜蜜

Repentance

Sigh... I am a crazy shopaholic. I am really afraid of  out on a spree now. I had spent too much...as in, really a-lot....in just a week. This makes me start feeling guilty and fearful of how terrible I am.... Always planned to go for window shopping only, but every time ended up with unplanned buying heaps of stuffs. I couldn't resist the temptation to buy clothing, skincare products,  and some japanese sweet stuffs. I guess if my parents knew about this, they would kill me without mercy or they would cut down my pocket money that merely survive me with monthly food. sigh... 

There must be a problem lying within me.... I have no other feeling when i do buying, i just try on whatever i like and pay. That's the big problem! I never think twice before buying. I am totally ill. I have no skill of managing my money cautiously. Such behavior has already scared me out. I should repent of my thoughtless act. seriously... 

I am a grown-up. Self-management is important. As a pharmacist-to-be, i must be self-disciplined. I must try to control myself not to simply spend a penny. They are my parents' hardwork.

Do not give easy promise Lynne.

一切从心出发，爱是一切的答案。

这几天心情很善变。

面壁思过了几天。。。

“不是别人不在乎你，而是你把别人看得太重。”

是的，ni 让我明白这个存在已久而我却忽略的事实。。。

我总是重视别人胜于自己。在乎外界的眼光胜于自身的感受。

所以常常不开心，没有自信或感到自卑。

一些朋友也常在我失落时，和我分享一些人生哲理。

就像Terrence说的，

“喜怒哀乐都由心而发。”因为自己心里不稳定，所以容易受外界影响。

“不要把快乐的源头，建筑与别人身上。”

去年偶然读了Angelis 博士的书，之前就已经提醒了我自己，却又被我遗忘了的一个道理。

快乐是自己的，没人能从我心里夺走。

而我却把快乐视于身外物，而常常感到不快乐。

人总是贪得无厌。

其实我已拥有许多美好的人，事，物在身边了，不应该不满足。

只是自己忽略了他们。

所以，我要好好从心出发。好好的管理自己。好好爱一切。

加油！春琳！

今天baby Aidan出世了。

希望贝比他健康活泼成长。

 三月，春天的象征。呵呵 =)

 

             baby Aidan 好可爱 =3

想家了现在。。。

一点都不快乐。

三年了，我还是我。那个畏惧寂寞，对空荡荡的四周胆怯，总是那么懦弱的我。为了让自己勇敢些，总是警惕自己，快乐悲伤都由自己决定。我明白，变化或改变是难免的。我尝试不抗拒而顺于life's flow. 所以， 我“选择”快乐，总是压抑着悲伤 。 以为我已经习惯了这种滋味，原来并没有。我一点都不快乐，我很寂寞。

身边的朋友有很多。可是真正知己还是知心的朋友，我还不清楚有几个。从小时候懂事开始到现在，我认定的只有3 个。朋友不在于数量，而在于诚。很多人都可以是我的朋友，都可以是可以聊天或谈心的，可是就算不谈天不天天联络可是见面时却不尴尬的朋友，又有几个？是我对'朋友'定义要求太高？

其实，我的个性是安静的，喜欢静静一个人做东西想东西，并不是常常疯疯癫癫爱玩爱闹的。了解我的人会明白我的举动。

寂寞是因为知道现在身边没有知己。更重要的是因为没有家人的陪伴。我好想家，也想他。我很倾向家里。生日快到了，其实我很希望每年的生日都能在家里过。即使不庆祝了，也没关系。

回到这里，我不害怕忙碌的课业，我最怕的是寂寞。

突然好想吃些甜甜的东西。或许我能开心些吧。。。

The last post of 2010

Oh... it's been quite some time since i last updated my blog right... First, I have been sick twice in one-month time and until now i still catch a cold and cough. Medicines just don't help even i finished them. My face is terribly pale. Second, I am kinda lazy to blog. Third, I am very busy with my work.

Initially planned to visit to HK yet it's not fulfilled. His parents was there in Nov when i was having exams as they had sth to do during Dec. Anyway, my bf has just come back from HK on last Wednesday! I met him on the next day. We hanged out with his family till weekend and we had a really good time and a happy x'mas in Sg.

Day 1: He just had a haircut and i was gonna have my hair permed.

Day 2: Going to Sg.

Yea, Some things that bf brought back from HK. 
He got me a new handbag. 
I really like the Arnold Palmer little umbrella.

Gamila secret's soaps. Gamila soap is said to have healing effects after one month of use. Lavender for my mum as birthday gift. My mum is using it right now. She claims that so far she feels good with it and her skin really smoothened and lightened. Let's see how it works after 3 weeks :)

Today's the last day of 2010. It's my mama's birthday and also her fruitful day. haha. Other than the Gamila, siblings got her a rosy brown Bonia watch which is the latest design, and my pa bought a new Panasonic inverter refrigerator for her. Gonna celebrate mum's bday with pizzas and we have already prepared a secret recipe's cake for her. Hopefully mama will have another joyful bday :)

bf is now with his family and relatives at pulai spring. Don't know how he is doing there...little poor thing coz he is sick as well...his parents are sick too :(